


Secrets

by ImagineRedwood



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 10:26:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16952277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineRedwood/pseuds/ImagineRedwood
Summary: Request: "Juice imagine based on “Secrets” by The Weeknd, but the reader is in The Weeknd’s perspective, not Juice. Idk if that makes sense. Like the song would be from the reader’s POV."





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> ***I geared this more towards the beginning of the show or maybe even pre-season 1, when everything is going well and where Juice is used to having Croweaters since I feel it would be out of character for him to cheat later in the show. Tbh this was a little hard to write because I woulda BEEN gone 😂 ***

You keep your eyes closed as Juice walks into the bedroom. The lights are off, it’s going on 3 AM, but you don’t want him to know that you’re still awake. No sense in making him uncomfortable and pushing him to lie to you again. Because he always does. You don’t need to ask. You know where he’s been.

With them.

**_Everybody here wants you_ **   
**_My love, my love_ **   
**_And I know that you want ‘em too_ **   
**_My love, my love_ **   
**_I ask you what your heart desires_ **   
**_My love, my love_ **   
**_You tell me I’m the only one_ **   
**_My love, my love_ **

That’s where it seems he’s always at, he’s not with you. He lies, tells you that club business got out of hand, that church dragged on longer than usual, that he stayed at the garage late to work on an important client’s ride. They’re all lies though, and you know they are. He’s really at the clubhouse with Croweaters in his bed. Not one specific one. It’s not that he prefers another woman over you. He’s with all of them. He loves the attention. The variety. He’s not used to serious relationships or monogamy. He’s gone years now being with all the women he wants when he wants. Sticking to one woman isn’t something he’s used to. He doesn’t really know how to. So he doesn’t. He stays with you, hugs you, kisses you, sleeps with you. But he does the same with them too.

**_You told me not to worry 'bout_ **   
**_Those guys, those guys_ **   
**_You told me that you left it all behind_ **   
**_Behind_ **

You’d asked him when you’d first gotten together and many times through your relationship.

“Are you sure you can be faithful?”

He always answers you the same way, settles your worries.

“Of course, baby. It’s only you.”  

**_It’s a lie, a lie_ **   
**_I catch you every time_ **   
**_In your lust, your lust_ **   
**_Every time you close your eyes_ **

You’d caught him before, though he didn’t know that. You’d thought you would surprise him at the clubhouse with lunch one day. Turns out you were the only one getting a surprise though as you walked in and saw him laying on the couch, naked croweater passed out on top of him. You’d turned right around and went back home, eating the sandwich yourself. You’d stayed quiet, hoping in time he would come clean. Admit that he’d been unfaithful, that he’d never do it again so you could work through it. But 3 months later you were still waiting.

Then there was that time at a clubhouse party where he eye fucked the blonde croweater on the pole all night like you couldn’t see it. His eyes trailed after her as she walked around topless, flipping her hair and sitting up on the bar for all to see. It seemed like everyone else had his attention more than you that night and you’d spent your time on your phone until he grabbed your hand and said it was time to go home.  Then he took you home and kissed you goodnight as if it was nothing. Keeping up the façade was getting old now and you’d given up on the hope that he would come clean. You’d realized that he was too cocky to even realize you knew and an apology was never going to come because you didn’t think he counted it. He’d said it before.

“The Croweaters are there for us to be with. It’s nothing personal, we don’t love them or anything.”

As if that made it better. Your patience had worth thin and this afternoon, you’d come to your conclusion over a glass of wine.

There was nothing between you. He wasn’t faithful, and you doubted he loved you. You kept him company. A clean house and a warm bed are what you were. Nothing more.  You could see that now that your love for him wasn’t clouding your judgment anymore. He wasn’t meant for you. You’d thought he was, thought he was the man that you could marry and build a life with, but he wasn’t. Not right now at least. Maybe in the future, maybe as he got older, maybe as life taught him things, but you had waited long enough. He just wasn’t right for you. Not in this life. Not at this time.

**_Wipe the lust from your eyes_ **   
**_I see that you’re not mine_ **   
**_I can see the lust in your eyes_ **   
**_You can’t hide it_ **   
**_You can’t be the one_ **   
**_I realize, we’re divided_ **

He sighed as he pulled off his clothes, tossing them into the hamper before pulling the sheet back and slipping into bed beside you. He bought your act of being asleep and didn’t touch you at all, bypassing the usual kiss goodnight he would give you when he knew you were awake. It sent a small pang to your heart. Even when he was blackout drunk with not an ounce of knowledge to what could be happening around him, you would still whisper to him softly and kiss the curve of his nose. Just one more act of love that he would never give back to you.

It hurt but you made up your mind as you laid there beside him, Juice on his side, eyes already closed. You would leave tomorrow. Pack up your stuff while he was away, no doubt being late again. You weren’t going to tell him you were leaving or explain why. He would know. You’d questioned him enough times, accused him enough for him to know what it meant when he came home tomorrow to an empty house. You had nothing but pure love to give him, you both could’ve been beautiful. But Juice was too caught up in his secrets and lies at this point to bring it back. He’d buried himself too deep and there was no coming back from this. You wished he could’ve loved you the way you were prepared to love him, but he just wasn’t ready, and that would be his loss.


End file.
